The Wonder
of Being Nice
a down-to-earth,
possibly surprising
guide to caring
for your mind
Barbara Frechette, DNP,
RN, PMHNP-BC
Outpost Oops
Contents
Introduction 1
Basic Care 6
Hodgepodge Notions 11
The Misguided List 13
Hurt’s an Alert 15
Kids 18
Not So Deep Down 21
The Making-Do List 24
Useful Futility 32
We’re Limited 34
Be Encouraged 37
Taking Control 40
Taking Control Phrases 41
Putdowns 44
Empathy and Humility 49
Trust 54
Regret 57
Rejection 61
Not a Cure-All 65
More Notions To Explore 67
Exploration Activities 72
Guilt and Resentment 76
Healing and Mercy 78
Aloneness and Self-Worth 82
Niceology 86
Helpful-Humility Statements 89
Alternative Communication 92
Up For Grabs 96
A Feathe-Ruffling List 98
Conclusion 105
If you’re interested in exploring how you might improve your mental self-care, this book may be a stumbled upon opportunity to reflect on some useful, sometimes unexpected, suggestions.
As you read, keep in mind that there’s a nurturing guide within you who, when allowed, will seek chances to give and get niceness.
Though there aren’t known humans on other planets with whom we can compare ourselves, it’s reasonable to conclude the amount of misery on Earth is weep-worthy.
There is, however, good news: We can improve. We can greatly lessen how much unhappiness we endure. With a willingness to upgrade the mental health skills passed along, we can bring about better self-care and greater contentment.
Haphazardly learning to care for our mind is, unfortunately, usual. So, be cautious of times the world offers a reward for doing something that devalues being nice.
Too often it’s too easy to take our mental well-being for granted. Consider this: That many prefer the company of pets over people is understandable.
While The Wonder Of Being Nice is a no-frills approach to carrying out basic mental self-care, the suggestions it contains sometimes require a willingness to do a bit of risk-taking. So, be patient when pondering what the authors suggest.
Here’s a get-started notion to consider: Good mental self-care calls for all to sometimes overcome the temptation not to be nice. We all, at times, are inclined to choose not-nice over nice.
Caring well for our mind occurs when we use niceness to feel able to achieve and to feel close to others (e.g., people, pets). Again, we’re nice when we’re kind and fair. Ableness and closeness are our basic mental needs. Kindness and fairness are the best means of obtaining these needs.
When you find the tips and strategies offered in this book unlike what you thought to be so, question them, possible with the help of others.
Once more, we feel able when we’re successful, or autonomous, and we feel close when we’re connected, or involved.
Caring well for our mind calls for us to see being nice as something we do, first and foremost, for ourselves. We don’t need to receive niceness to benefit from giving niceness.
Because kindness and fairness can be contrary to the way the world works, sticking with them sometimes requires determination.
Early in our lives, we begin to form notions that explain why and how we should obtain ableness and close-ness. Because many of these notions reflect the hodgepodge of hit-or-miss info available to us, we end up with both nice notions and not-nice ones.
Again, improving our mental self-care occurs best when we stick with kind and fair ways to meet our needs. Adjusting and strengthening nice not strategies should be a lifelong undertaking.
1. We’ve all been misguided.
2. Misguidedness leaves us needy and at times lacking logic.
3. Misguided actions enable us to survive imperfect conditions.
4. Misguidedness brings about avoidable hurtful losses.
5. Our awareness of being misguided may not prompt us to make corrections.
6. We can be too misguided to easily consider we’re misguided.
7. Sometimes, assuming we’re misguided is healthy.
8. Well-guided children learn to transition from the refuge called innocence to the fortress called niceness.
9. Good mental health entails lifelong learning, during which we overcome much misguidedness.
Because we’re taught displaying hurt shows weakness, we sometimes struggle to see our hurt as an alert—a signal warning us to thoroughly evaluate how a loss occurred. When seen as an alert, hurt can prompt the concern and insight needed to pursue healing.
Keep in mind that ignored hurt gets stored as memories—recollections that fuel sadness and anger. Over time, sadness can become depression and anger can become rage.
Given we often transform our hurt into sadness and anger, seeing our hurt as a useful alert is more likely when we first accept such a transformation is frequent.
Discovering not-nice notions that set the stage for avoidable hurt is an outstanding step toward change. Because we become reliant on not-nice notions, discovering them often takes self-care spunk.
Because kids must make use of the ways to feel able and close available to them, they adopt not only nice and healthy habits but also not-nice unhealthy habits.
Not until adolescence, when a surge in a desire for independence occurs, are kids likely to question what they’ve been taught. Often looking to peers or the media for answers, teens may latch onto misguided notions that make losses more likely.
Many kids lack the minimum daily mental health requirements provided when kindness and fairness are routinely modeled by mentors.
Unfortunately, better recognizing misguidedness hasn’t prompted the powers that be to do a better job ensuring kids are adequately taught healthy mental self-care. It often seems even advanced, well-meaning extraterrestrials would be hard-pressed to convince humans to better emphasize a reliance on niceness.
Though we get good at pretending we’re unaware of being unkind or unfair, deep down and often not so deep down we usually know when each is so.
Because we realize not being nice keeps us from liking ourselves, we often suspect the case for staying nice is a good one. Even more useful, when niceness boosts our self-esteem, we sense healthy self-care has occurred.
Appreciating the self-respect lost when we’re unkind or unfair is a hard, but valuable, pill to swallow.
Accepting it’s useless to pretend we can feel good about ourselves while continuing to be unkind or unfair is a super helpful self-care break-through.
Sacrificing a material gain so that we can experience the self-worth brought about by seeing ourselves be kind or fair ia a terrific self-esteem booster.
When we discover our not-nice notions are faulty, we often hold onto them because they allow us to scrape together make-do ableness and closeness. That is, they do something vital: They help us meet our mental needs.
A variety of not nice notions are given on the next six pages. A alternative nice-notion follows each in parentheses.
1. Search for someone you can’t live without. (Obtaining ableness and closeness in a variety of replaceable ways is best.)
2. Always do your best. (Constantly striving to excel typically brings about an unsettling intolerance of failure.)
3. Seek to fulfill a dream despite ongoing disappointment. (Insisting a dream comes true results in much unhappiness. Seek fantasizing that’s a carefree brief break from reality.)
4. Decide a certain something has to take place. (There are many kind or fair ways to feel able and close.)
5. Hiding times you feel over-whelmed is a good idea. (When we openly accept our limits, we make losses easier to avoid or manage.)
6. Putting down another or ourselves is a harmless way to have fun. (Though we sometimes pretend it isn’t so, putting others or ourselves down causes us to somewhat lose feeling like a nice person—someone who deserves self-worth.)
7. Taking sides helps settle differences. (Neutrality that makes niceness a priority is usually the stance that result in compromise and peacemaking.)
8. Getting even is a good idea. (Often a strong, festering desire, retaliation typically continues give and get hurtful ill-will.)
9. Backing down is what cowards do. (Unless escape is impossible, retreat is a healthy means of seeking safety.)
10. People are, for the most part, thick-skinned. (Incoming comments are personalized. We rarely separate what is said about us from us.)
11. People are inclined to carefully analyze situations. (We’re seldom taught well to put forth the effort sound reasoning requires).
12. Getting down on ourselves after losing out strengthens our self-respect. (Being a good sport is what makes us inclined to like ourselves. Winning is typically puffed up fluff.)
3. Some people are too responsible to go berserk. (Everyone has a snapping point of no return. During such eruptions, much harm can occur.)
14. Humility indicates failure. (Humility is a perspective-gaining contributor to good mental self-care. Don’t confuse humility with humili-ation.)
15. Being nice isn’t good enough. (Healthy people know niceness results in sufficient self-worth.)
16. People should be leery of being nice. (Though sometimes exploited, niceness is a reliable source of mental nourishment.)
17. Being merciful excuses bad behavior. (When motivated by empathy and humility, the merciful recognize and promote niceness.)
18. Niceness is overvalued. (When defined as kindness and fairness, niceness is an unmatched means of displaying good mental self-care.)
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As suggested, we ensure our mental survival, in part, by adopting notions that aren’t nice. Over time, our persistent reliance on such notions makes letting go of them difficult. Often, for us to give up on them, we must experience useful futility, during which we decide such notions aren’t worth the trouble they cause.
Without useful futility, the faultiness of not-nice notions usually worsens, often resulting in regrettable choices.
Those of us who enjoy a but-for-bad-luck-go-I reality typically find it difficult to appreciate what it’s like to eke out an existence. Though niceness is a mighty mental skill, the amount of compassion it generates is limited.
Sometimes sensing that helping those needy might leave us feeling overburdened, we limit our concern and aid. Even when neediness is expressed by those close to us, our help is usually limited.
Nevertheless, having learned that helpfulness is a virtue, we can be prone to thinking our support for others should be limitless. As a result, we can be unrealistic when it comes to taking on the role of helper.
There’s almost always a way to contend we could and should do more to be helpful. Though excellent ways to help each other, our kindness and fairness aren’t boundless.
Let’s suppose that, like most, you’re not inclined to react to distressful losses by questioning your self-care habits. Let’s also assume your current lifestyle keeps you from putting aside the time needed to do adequate mental self-care.
Despite the above obstacles, you’re reading this book. That’s very encouraging! It indicates a willingness to explore your mental self-care.
As suggested, niceness can be not only risky but also scary. Everyone is, on occasion, afraid to be nice. That’s because we can’t predict when we might encounter an anti-niceness individual ready to unload a gob of stashed hurt on someone they see as weak.
Politely exiting an anti-niceness situation isn’t always possible. Moreover, mistreatment, sometimes calls for professional intervention.
Head off times you’re tempted not to be nice by privately repeating one of the take-control phrases on the next page. Don’t let feeling awkward at first deter you from restating the phrase until you’re no longer tempted to be unkind or unfair to others or yourself.
Keep in mind that declining to take-control often results in losing a chunk of self-esteem. Remember, take-control phrases aren’t a once- and-done tactic.
1. No, it’s not OK.
2. Don’t try to fool yourself.
3. Listen to your inner guide.
4. Choose to like yourself.
5. Stay nice.
6. The price is too high.
Another way to lessen the temptation to be unkind or unfair is to memorize and recall a notion that counters one you’d like to discard. Provided the nice counter notion sufficiently rings true, recalling it should be helpful.
Focusing on one of the niceness tips you come across while reading this book may help you get the preceding strategy underway.
Unfortunately, thinking it’s sometimes OK to put others or ourselves down is common. Fortunately, because putdowns are usually easy to spot, reducing their use can be a quick way to gain self-care confidence.
A self-talk reminder that might lessen the urge to use putdowns follows: Resist the join-the-crowd use of putdowns that’ll leave you with less self-respect.
What’s more useful: being nice or having good-looks? When the standard applied is how well someone is able to avoid putdowns, good looks is typically the winner.
However, when the standard is how well self-esteem is secured, being nice typically wins the day. Remember, those who put others down hurt themselves. In contrast, for those put down to feel hurt, they must mistakenly decide putdowns prove they’re inferior. Unnecessarily feeling inferior is the cause of much unnecessary unhappiness.
To ensure self-worth, we must value niceness. Regularly shore up your self-worth by treating yourself to meditative sessions, during which you repeat and celebrate the self-talk that follows: Being a nice person is almost always a sure-fire way to like myself. It’s important for me to remember that remaining a kind and fair person keeps losses from lessening my dignity and integrity.
Relaxation exercises and tranquil music may enhance the above activity.
Imagine a world in which the word putdown and words similar to it, such as insult or snub, are obsolete.
Next, remind yourself that despite what the world may tell you, your kindness and fairness are reasons enough to greatly value your existence. See niceness as an unparalleled saving grace.
The following self-talk statement is a central self-care reminder. Ponder it not only when down in the dumps but also when things are going well: By routinely mustering but-for-good-fortune-go helpful humility, I become more likely to show myself and others the kindness and fairness that results in reliable ableness and closeness. That is, I become more likely to enjoy good mental health.
By confirming we’re all flawed and mistake-prone, helpful-humility brings about the empathy and compassion needed to engage in give-and-get health-promoting niceness. Without such humility, finding the incentive needed to maintain our well-being can be difficult.
Talking and writing about kindness and fairness are frequent. Stressing how humility helps us commit to such niceness is infrequent.
A helpful-humility reminder for kids and adults follows: Remembering everyone, including me, sometimes flubs up will help me give and get niceness.
When grown-ups model accepting imperfections and blunders, kids will do likewise. If you mentor kids, let them hear you express humility when recognizing run of the mill mistakes. Examples of statements that help get helpful humility underway follow.
1. I sometimes make choices I wish I could take back.
2. I occasionally judge another or myself in an ucalled for way.
3. Every now and then, I recall the misguidedness that brought about a past mistake.
4. Coming up short, especially when trying to be helpful, has caused me to unfairly get down on myself.
5. I’ve found feeling embarrassed due to not being nice easier to confess when I see it as human.
Being nice doesn’t always help us acquire ableness and closeness. So, trusting it is sometimes difficult. Reflecting a the self-care reminder like the one below can help foster trust: Within me is a nurturing guide who wants me to rely on kindness and fairness. When allowed to take charge, this part of me makes choices that best ensure I have self-esteem and peace of mind. In the midst of misfortune resulting in anxiety or gloom, this part of me remains my comforting guardian.
A few simpler versions of the preceding reminder follow. Mulling them can help both kids and adults better trust themselves:
1. Don’t let not being treated well keep you from staying nice.
2. Remember, being cranky keeps you from liking yourself.
3. Step up with niceness, not down with finding fault.
4. Show yourself you can be trusted to stay nice.
Having regret isn’t merely wishing we could take back a mistake. It’s also a chance to explore how to better give and get ableness and closeness.
We can’t always atone, but we can always learn to be a nicer person—a more caring sibling, friend, partner, parent, co-worker, etc. Humble statements that express regret and open the door to healing are on the next two pages.
1. I wish I hadn’t delayed admitting I was unkind (or unfair).
2. Given how I mistreated you, I wouldn’t feel safe around me if I were you. I intend to work hard to be trustworthy.
3. I mistakenly thought I was above acting in a way that’s unkind or unfair. I want to change for the better.
4. I lost some self-respect when I was unkind (or unfair). I intend to be a nicer person.
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5. Knowing I can’t erase the harm I’ve done makes me more determined to be kinder and fairer.
6. Putting my regret to use by being a nicer person is what matters.
7. I want to do more than say I’m sorry. I want to change the messed up way I reacted.
8. I’m going to try hard to deserve mercy.
Rejection can be tough to overcome. That’s because it typically brings about not only a hefty loss of feeling able and close but also a hefty loss of feeling worthy of these needs.
Though typically ending the daily doldrums and discord stashed hurt brings about, break-ups can debilitate those rejected. In turn, they can make spotting and overcoming a notion in the way of recovery an uphill slog.
Sometimes finding their neediness preoccupying, those rejected can become consumed with quickly restoring ableness and closeness. Put another way, bouncing back can become a desperate hunt—a rash inclination that results in regrettable choices.
If you struggle with rejection, commit to using one or two of the nice (healthy) notions that follow:
1. I need to do a better job ensuring my niceness truly matters to those with whom I seek ableness and closeness.
2. Not valuing niceness has kept me stuck in an unhealthy relationship.
3. I want to strive for the niceness I need rather than the illusion I crave.
4. My sadness and anger won’t subside until I sufficiently heal the hurt-prone notions fueling them.
The self-care described in this book isn’t a cure-all. Though committing to kindness and fairness is vital to good mental health, doing so isn’t always sufficient. On the contrary, medications and/or counseling are sometimes helpful.
Honing a few of the self-care notions in this book is a possible source of support. It’s but one contributor to a developing a custom-made self-care plan of action.
More Notions To Explore
1. Needing to hurdle the survival strategies made available to us during childhood is a shared task.
2. Because of all the usual ball-dropping on Earth, healthy mental self-care habits need ongoing bolstering.
3. Often caught off guard by stored hurt, everyone, on occasion, bobs on tippy toes for a self-care breath.
4. We often overlook desperation and overrate bouncing back.
5. Our self-control becomes fragile when we ignore the need for ongoing self-care.
6. Though our hurt can’t be completely resolved, it can be lessened.
7. Useful self-exploration is typically self-demystifying.
8. Humility lessen the agony losses bring about when it’s seen as the grand humanizer.
9. Much of what we consider to be necessary is unnecessary.
10. Our criticism of others is often misdirected displeasure with ourselves.
12. We sometimes project a misguided persistence onto others. Remember that giving up has its place.
13. See ableness, closeness, niceness, empathic, humility and mercy as key mental health terms.
14. Feeling payback is due won’t prevent the loss of self-respect usual when we stoop to returning fire.
15. When at the expense of another, laughter typically leaves the ridiculer thinking less of her/himself.
16. When well-appreciated, mental setbacks are timesavers.
17. Mental self-care is, in part, an unending string of adjustments.
If guiding learners, promote their self-care by asking them to select a notion(s) from this book. Then, have them explore the notion(s) chosen by way of an essay, poem, drawing, photograph or other creative means.
A second exploration activity entails having learners review the tips on the next two pages. Then, have learners discuss the tips they found to be unexpected or puzzling.
1. good self-care includes a willingness to unruffle feathers.
2. People take most of what’s said about them to heart.
3. Often, standing up to yourself should precede standing up for yourself.
4. Iffy advice arrives regularly.
5. Good mental health self-care can seem fishy at first.
6. Accepting our humanity can be both inspiring and scary.
7. Thank goodness we can’t be anything we want to be.
8. Too often, we rush to our reserved seat in the peanut gallery.
9. Try as we may, our hurt can’t be whisked away.
10. Mercy, rather than forgiveness, is a doable contributor to healing.
We learn to hold others and ourselves responsible for wrong-doing. We’re quick to identify with the guilty mistreater or the resentful mistreated.
Once guilt or resentment preoccupies us, we usually fail to realize they have something in common: Both cause us to downplay our trial-and-error mistake-prone nature. Instead, we get wrapped up in accusing others and/or ourselves of misdeeds.
Our lives are, in part, a series of losses. Burdened by shortcomings and misfortune, we find ourselves time and again needing to replace lost ableness and closeness.
Take time to mull the eight healthy notions that follow. Keep in mind that getting the healing-ball rolling happens best when helpful humility brings about a show of mercy.
1. When our mental health is taken into account, niceness is far more than a pleasantry.
2. When overly emphasized, wanting to get ahead can cause us to rashly minimize kindness and fairness.
3. The niceness on Earth can be somewhat spotty; so, be thankful when you come upon someone kind or fair.
4. Be careful: Pouncing to fit in can create cracks to fall through.
5. Examples of self-care kindness are helpfulness, encouragement, generosity, gentleness and mercy.
6. Examples of self-care fairness are respect, cooperation, inclusion, trustworthiness and mercy. (Mercy is kind and fair.)
7. Remind yourself that mental mending often calls for us to first seek inspiring humility.
8. The sticking-with-niceness checkered flag is waved modestly, not boastfully.
Though often quick to listen to those commenting on our worth, we alone have the say that matters when it comes to deciding the extent to which we see ourselves as up to snuff.
The important question is this: How can we ensure our aloneness entails self-esteem and serenity, rather than self-doubt and turmoil?
As repeatedly stated, seeing ourselves be kind and fair is an unequaled self-care mainstay. There isn’t a more reliable means of forging an aloneness that confirms the self-worth needed to sustain a healthy sense of well-being.
While love is commonly seen as the grandest source of feeling worthy, only love that features give-and-get kindness and fairness ensures the ongoing healing needed to maintain good mental health.
A court only we attend, our aloneness is the state in which we’re both defendant and judge. Day in and day out, we pass down private verdicts that declare the extent to which we deserve ableness and closeness.
If you sometimes feel you’re surrounded by those with the backbone you lack, know that all endure an aloneness in which they sometimes feel insecure.
Niceness should be a part of all curriculums—preschool through college. Moreover, it should be an area of study with the same status as established school subjects, thereby ensuring kindness and fairness are thoroughly explored and practiced.
Outpost Oops recommends a new subject, called niceology, be studied each school year. Niceology courses would feature role-playing exercises as well as discussion groups.
A six-step example of a niceolgy role-playing exercise follows:
1. Tell learners they’re about to debate whether or not putdowns are an OK way to kid around.
2. After putting learners in pairs, instruct them to take turns being for and against the use of putdowns.
3. Once each pair debates for several minutes, have them exchange a few of the helpful-humility statements on pages 89 and 90.
4. Next, have learners size up the role-play exercise. Having them evaluate the helpful-humility statements they used.
5. Tell learners that expressing empathy and humility will get easier with practice.
6. Lastly, have learners identify additional notions that prompt disagreement. Then, have them create, role-play and refine empathic, humble responses to the notions they note.
1. I’d like to better understand what you’re saying.
2. Being too sure of myself sometimes makes it hard for me to appreciate the view of others.
3. Wanting to be right is keeping me from being civil and open.
4. I think how I put things is in the way of us getting along.
5. Wanting to appear smart is keeping me from appreciating your view.
6. I need to watch out for the temptation to be pushy or stubborn.
7. Having us respect each other is important to me.
8. I’d like to search for what we agree on.
9. Overlooking the good fortune I’ve had sometimes causes me to think I know more than others.
An alternative style of communicating is needed. Rather than try to slough off mistakes, particularly those that are unkind and unfair, the alternative style would emphasize humility.
The list of humble statements that follows might seem risky at first. So, keep in mind that such genuineness eventually strengthens self-esteem.
1. I’m concerned I’ve been disrespectful.
2. I’m working at spotting times I mistakenly assume I’m kind and fair.
3. That I sometimes don’t resist the temptation to be flippant is embarrassing.
4. Not expecting others should brush off an insult has been hard for me.
5. Please bear with me; I’m not sure how to be kind (or fair) right now.
6. I sometimes use bluster to try to cover up my fear of looking ignorant.
7. Though I made things more difficult than they needed to be, you stayed pleasant. Thanks.
8. Secretly feeling inferior can cause me to accuse others of being inept.
9. I wish I could take back what I did (or said).
10. It’s difficult to admit that I need to work at being kind and fair.
What makes sense? Coming up with answers to this question is an ongoing inescapable challenge. Seeking to survive the small and big storms living entails, we sometimes settle on faulty, but anchoring, answers that lessen how often we feel adrift. Though sometimes leaving us prone to losses, such answers enable us to do what it takes to feel able and close.
Seeing what makes sense to be up for grabs can help us consider and possibly adopt healthier ways to conduct mental upkeep. However, to take this approach, we must be willing to muster the humility that occurs when we accept what we contend is so may not be so. Keep in mind that what makes sense is sometimes a mere stab at what is true.
A Feather-Ruffling List
1. A portion of the strife on Earth is random, baffling and overwhelming, Another portion of it is predictable, explainable and preventable.
2. We don’t know ourselves as well as we think we do.
3. We’ve all been somewhat traumatized.
4. Everyone is sometimes in over her or his head.
5. Though not completely resolvable, our mental self-care is improvable.
6. We’ve all been misguided in ways that leave us prone to hurtful losses.
7. Self-awareness reveals the us who’s nice as well as the us who’s not nice.
8. Too often, desperation is overlooked and resilience is overrated.
9. Our self-control is more fragile than we realize.
10. Though not always avoidable, much hurt is manageable.
11. Useful self-exploration is usually self-demystifying.
12. Human sitting ducks can fly high when given a niceness nudge.
13. Seeing ourselves be kind and fair is almost always there for the taking.
14. We’re all susceptible to choosing nastiness over niceness.
15. Complimenting those with good intentions is an excellent way to practice prioritizing niceness.
16. Feeling grateful for the chance to be nice is a right-tract reaction.
17. Though not completely fixable, our hurt can be greatly eased.
18. Empathy and humility are all they’re cracked up to be!
19. We each, for the most part, decide how scarce niceness will be.
20. Much of what we consider necessary is unnecessary.
21. Our criticism of others is often shifted displeasure with ourselves.
22. Backing down and giving up have their place.
23. Kindness and fairness should be considered essential mental health terms.
24. Though a vital self-care skill, but-for-good-fortune-go-I humility is, unfortunately, scarcely taught.
25. We can only pretend to be OK with not being nice.
26. Setbacks are often opportunities to crawl and claw toward a bit of self-awareness enlightenment.
27. We all lack the minimum daily requirements of guidance and support.
28. A niceness grand awakening that brings about an overhaul of our educational priorities is badly needed.
29. Strive to let your humble, empathic inner sage—the part of you prodding you to be kinder and fairer—take charge.
30. Remind yourself over and over that routinely showing kindness and fairness makes you good enough.
The relentless mistreatment occurring on Earth is disheartening. Given daily headlines indicate kindness and fairness are commonly and easily stampeded, it’s understandable that some will see a call for more niceness as naive.
Nevertheless, most misery doesn’t have to be a foregone conclusion. With a bold, steadfast commitment to kindness and fairness, much unhappiness can be avoided.
While misfortune and suffering vary greatly, everyone ends up with unpleasant, sometimes punishing, memories. Though our gnawing flashbacks can’t be thrown overboard, their impact can be lessened. Relief occurs when we surrender to our inner nurturing guide.
Of course, a large-scale surrender will require a ground-swell of support for the ongoing study of niceology. It will call for us to commit to providing the guidance needed to upgrade our self-care notions.
Because committing to and carrying out upgraded niceness entails traveling a bumpy road, crafting and regularly recalling a self-care reminder, such as the one that follows, can be helpful:
Being nice, especially when coping with a not-nice world, is the best way for me to feel worthy of self-respect and mercy. I can’t completely overcome misguidedness, but I can sincerely embrace niceness and, as a result, bring about a more peaceful mind.
The authors hope you’ll join the Outpost Oops Planetary Society (OOPS). Along with striving to be kind and fair, members keep in mind the following notion: Making mental self-care a priority on Earth is long overdue.
Being nice is a wonder! When greatly valued and routinely relied upon, niceness is an unequaled source of comfort, self-esteem and well-being.
For a variety of ways to explore and practice caring for your mind, check out the nonfiction and fiction at Outpost Oops (outpostoops.com). You’ll find materials and activities for all ages.
There’s a niceness awakening
underway at Outpost Oops.
outpostoops.com
The Outpost Oops Planetary
Society seeks members
young and old.
copyright 2025
Micbren Publishing LLC