The Wonder Of Being Nice

The Wonder

of Being Nice

a down-to-earth,

possibly surprising,

aid to caring

for your mind

Outpost Oops

Contents

Introduction 1

Basic Care 6

Hodgepodge Notions 11

The Misguided List 13

Hurt’s an Alert 15

Kids 18

Not So Deep Down 21

Faulty Notions 24

Useful Futility 32

Be Encouraged 37

Escaping 38

Taking Control 40

Taking Control Phrases 41

Putdowns 46

Helpful-Humility 49

Trust 51

Regret 54

Rejection 58

Not a Cure-All 62

Notions To Explore 64

Exploration Activities 69

Guilt and Resentment 73

Healing and Mercy 75

Aloneness and Self-Worth 79

Niceology 82

Helpful-Humility Statements 85

Communication 88

Up For Grabs 92

Feather-Ruffling List 95

Conclusion 101

Introduction

This book is for those interested in exploring how they might improve their mental self-care. It contains not only a view of what it means to be human but also a variety of self-talk suggestions.

The authors hope you’ll find what’s presented to be a source of encouragement. We believe there’s a part of everyone who, when allowed, welcomes the chance to better give and get niceness—a wondrous means of maintaining good mental health.

If only we were

really and truly taught the

key to good mental self-care

is being a nice person

—someone kind and fair.

Haphazardly learning to care for our mind is, unfortunately, usual. Moreover, the world often offers a reward for doing something that devalues and disregards such self-care.

Consider this: That we sometimes prefer the company of pets over people is telling. It reveals the innocent, comforting wonder, called niceness, we long for.

Though there aren’t known beings on other planets with whom we can compare ourselves, it’s reasonable to conclude the amount of misery on Earth is weep-worthy.

There is, however, good news: We can lessen how much unhappiness we endure. With a willingness to upgrade the mental health skills passed to us, we can bring about better self-care and, in turn, greater contentment.

Even in the midst

of trying times, we can,

when adequately prepared,

deliver amazing self-care

kindness and fairness.

Basic Care

Using the basic mental self-care suggestions put forth in this book will sometimes require risk-taking, during which patience and determination must be mustered.

Here’s a somewhat challenging get-started self-talk notion worth recalling: Good mental self-care requires I learn to overcome the ongoing temptation not to be nice.

Types of self-care kindness

include helpfulness, empathy,

generosity, encouragement

and gentleness.

Types of self-care fairness

include integrity, respect,

cooperation, inclusion

and trustworthiness.

Caring well for our mind occurs when we use niceness to feel able to achieve and to feel close to others. Again, we’re nice when we’re kind and fair. Ableness and closeness are our basic mental needs. Kindness and fairness are the best means of obtaining these needs.

When you find the notions or strategies presented in this aid don’t agree with what you thought to be so, challenge them, possibly with others. Also, occasionally ask if what’s suggested might help you resist being goaded or bribed into being unkind or unfair.

As suggested, we feel able when we’re successful, or autonomous, and we feel close when we’re connected, or involved. Acquiring ableness and closeness well calls for us to see our niceness as something we do, first and foremost, for ourselves.

So, we don’t need to receive niceness to benefit from giving it. However, because kindness and fairness can be contrary to the way the world works, sticking with them sometimes requires bravery and sacrifice.

Healthy individuals

make being nice a pillar

of their well-being.

Hodgepodge Notions

Early in our lives, we begin to form notions that explain why and how we should obtain ableness and closeness. Because our notions reflect the hodgepodge of make-do learning available to us, we end up with both nice and not-nice notions.

Though some of the hodgepodge of self-care notions are inefficient and even not nice, we’re sometimes reluctant to seek improvement. Briefly put, we don’t easily give up on make-do learning.

Overcoming

not-nice habits is an

ongoing undertaking.

Simply put, humans are

high maintenance.

The Misguided List

1. We’ve all been somewhat misguided.

2. Misguidedness leaves us, in varying degrees, needy.

3. Misguided actions sometimes enable us to survive imperfect conditions.

4. Misguidedness makes hurtful losses more likely.

5. We can be too misguided to readily admit we’re misguided.

6. Our awareness of being misguided may not prompt us to make corrections,

7. Assuming we may be misguided is, at times, helpful and healthy.

8. Well-guided children learn to transition from the refuge called innocence to the fortress called niceness.

9. Top notch guidance occurs when how to be kind and fair has been routinely and thoroughly reviewed.

Hurt’s an Alert

Because we’re taught experiencing hurt indicates weakness, we sometimes struggle to see hurt as an alert—a signal prodding us to evaluate how a loss occurred. When seen as an alert, hurt can prompt the concern and insight needed to pursue healing, during which we seek kind and fair ways to feel able or close.

Keep in mind that ignored hurt gets stored as memories—recollections that fuel sadness and anger. Over time, sadness can become depression and anger can become rage.

Hurt is a hot potato of sorts. So, recognizing we convert much hurt into sadness is more likely when we first accept such a conversion is usual.

Realizing we can become reliant on not-nice notions often takes self-care spunk. Discovering not-nice notions set the stage for a hurtful loss is an empowering self-care step forward.

Hurt’s an unpleasant,

but helpful, warning.

It signals a need to question

and possibly upgrade

how we obtain

ableness and closeness.

Kids

Because kids must make use of the ways to feel able and close available to them, they adopt not only healthy habits but also unhealthy ones.

Not until adolescence, when a surge in a desire for independence occurs, are kids likely to question what they’ve been taught. Often looking to peers or the media for answers, teens sometimes latch onto additional misguided notions—ways of meeting their needs that can make hurtful losses more likely.

Too often, kids lack the minimum daily mental health requirements provided when kindness and fairness are regularly modeled by mentors.

Unfortunately, the powers that be don’t sufficiently value the exploration, modeling and simulation necessary to better foster healthy mental self-care. It typically seems even enlightened extraterrestrials would be hard-pressed to convince those in charge on Earthto wholeheartedly emphasize a reliance on niceness.

The wing-it self-care

instruction that

persists is a hard,

but not impossible,

nut to crack.

To get the

cracking underway,

we must make niceness

a prized big deal.

Not So Deep Down

Though we get good at pretending we’re unaware of being unkind or unfair, deep down and sometimes not so deep down we usually know when each is so.

While times we admit we’re not nice make it difficult for us to like ourselves, there’s a possible upside: When we truly own what we admit, we have an opportunity to take action—to show ourselves niceness is a super way to strengthen our self-esteem.

Confessing to the loss of self-respect that occurs when we’re unkind or unfair is a hard, but valuable, pill to swallow. Better still, accepting it’s useless to try to pretend we can feel good about ourselves while continuing to be unkind or unfair is a self-care breakthrough.

Keep in mind that when the self-worth at stack is truly appreciated, seeing ourselves decline to be unkind or unfair is a tremendous self-esteem booster.

Anytime we deliver

payback, we’re

the primary recipient.

Two not-nices don’t

make a nice, right?

Faulty Notions

As suggested, when we discover a notion is faulty, we often continue to hold onto it because it allow us to scrape together make-do ableness and/or closeness. That is, it does something vital: It helps us survive.

A variety of faulty notions are given on the next six pages. A rebuttal for you to consider follows each in parentheses.

1. Find someone you can’t live without. (Obtaining ableness and closeness in a variety of replaceable ways is best.)

2. Always strive to excel. (Falling short allows for the humility that brings about new adventures.)

3. Seek to fulfill a dream despite ongoing disappointment. (Insisting a dream comes true can result in much unhappiness. Seek fantasizing that’s a carefree brief break from reality.)

4. Hide times you feel overwhelmed. (When we openly accept our limits, we make losses easier to avoid or manage.)

5. See putting down another or yourself as a harmless way to have fun. (Though we sometimes pretend it isn’t so, putting others or ourselves down causes us to somewhat lose feeling like a nice person—someone who deserves self-worth.)

6. Take sides in order to settle differences. (Diplomacy, during which niceness is a priority, opens the door to compromise and peacemaking.)

7. See getting even as a good idea. (Often a festering desire, retaliation typically results in more ill-will.)

8. Decide backing down is what cowards do. (Unless escape is impossible, retreat is a healthy means of seeking safety.)

9. Consider people to be thick-skinned. (Everyone tends to personalize. We rarely separate what is said about us from us.)

10. Believe people are prone to carefully analyze situations. (We seldom exert the effort sound reasoning requires).

11. Decide getting down on yourself for failing strengthens your self-respect. (Being a good sport is what helps you like yourself. Winning is usually puffed up fluff.)

12. Think some people are too responsible to go berserk. (Everyone has a snapping point of no return.)

13. Think humility indicates failure. (Humility is a perspective-gaining contributor to good mental self-care. Don’t confuse humility with humiliation.)

14. Decide being nice isn’t good enough. (Healthy people know routine niceness results in unsurpassed self-worth.)

15. Think people should be leery of being nice. (Though occasionally a reason for another to take advantage of us, our niceness is almost always beneficial.)

16. Think being merciful excuses bad behavior. (When motivated by humility and empathy, the merciful encourage niceness.)

17. See niceness as overvalued. (When defined as kindness and fairness, niceness is an unmatched means of displaying good self-care.)

That niceness is

sometimes exploited

doesn’t void its

health-promoting

superiority.

Useful Futility

As suggested, we ensure our mental survival, in part, by adopting notions that aren’t nice. Our long time reliance on such notions makes letting go of them difficult.

For us to give up on a not nice notion, we usually must experience useful futility, during which we decide it isn’t worth the trouble it causes. Without useful futility, not-nice notions can result in regrettable hurtful choices.

See crying uncle,

during which you give

up on a not-nice notion,

as a show of illuminatiing

pointlessness.

Be Encouraged

Suppose that, like most, you’re not inclined to react to distressful losses by questioning your self-care habits. Let’s also assume your current lifestyle makes it difficult for you to put aside the time needed to do adequate mental self-care.

Despite the above obstacles, you’re reading this book. That’s very encouraging! It indicates a willingness by you to give you inner guide some say.

Each time we

human-up

with niceness,

we reinforce

our self-care.

Escaping

Niceness can be not only risky but also scary. Everyone, on occasion, is afraid to be nice. That’s because we know we can’t always predict when we’ll encounter a not-nice, possibly hostile, individual—someone ready to convert and unload a gob of stashed hurt.

While often justified, politely escaping an unpleasant situation isn’t always possible. Breakinf free of mistreatment sometimes requires help from others.

That we learn to hide

rather than heal

our hurt makes

unkind or unfair

encounters perplexing

booby traps.

Take Control

Head off times you’re tempted not to be nice by privately recalling one of the take-control warnings on the next page. Don’t let feeling awkward at first deter you from repeating the phrase until you’re no longer tempted in the moment at hand to be unkind or unfair to others or yourself.

Take-control warnings aren’t a once-and-done tactic. But they can, when frequently used, head off the not-niceness that results in a loss of much self-esteem.

Take Control Phrases

1. Stay nice.

2. It’s not OK to be unkind or unfair.

3. You’re about to hurt yourself.

3. Stop before you lose some self-respect.

4. Self-disapproval will follow.

When regularly used,

self-talk phrases

that help you

stick with niceness

can be a nifty bit

of regret-dodging.

Putdowns

Unfortunately, thinking it’s sometimes OK to put others or ourselves down is common. Luckily, because putdowns are usually easy to spot, reducing their use can be a quick way to gain self-care confidence.

A self-talk reminder that might help you focus on lessening the urge to use putdowns follows: Show dignity by resisting the join-the-crowd use of putdowns.

What’s more useful: being nice or having good-looks? When the standard applied is how well someone is spared putdowns, good looks is typically the winner. However, when the standard is how well self-esteem is secured, being nice more often pays off.

Remember, those who put others down lose some self-respect. Whereas those put down only feel hurt when they mistakenly decide putdowns prove they’re inferior.

To ensure self-worth, we must value niceness. Regularly shore up your self-worth by treating yourself to meditative sessions, during which you repeat and celebrate the self-talk that follows: Remaining a kind and fair person is the best way to avoid losses that lessen my precious peace of mind.

Relaxation exercises and tranquil music may enhance the above session.

Remember, all forms of putdowns lack a saving grace. Whether an attempt to insult, diminish or snub, they’re a doomed-to-eventually-backfire attempt to inflict a hurtful loss of self-worth.

Remind yourself that, despite what the world may tell you, your kindness and fairness are exceptional reasons to enjoy being human. Niceness is an unparalleled means of acquiring serenity.

Try as we may

to complicate matters,

healthy people are,

suffice to say,

nice people.

Helpful-Humility

The following self-talk statement is a central self-care reminder. Ponder it not only when down in the dumps but also when things are going well:

By routinely mustering but-for-good-luck-go-I helpful humility, I become more likely to show myself and others the kindness and fairness that results in good mental health.

By confirming we’re all flawed and mistake-prone, helpful-humility brings about the empathy and compassion needed to commit to niceness.

Helpful-humility

provides the incentive

needed to walk the

niceness talk.

A helpful-humility reminder for kids and adults follows: Remembering that everyone, including me, sometimes flubs up will help me give and get the niceness I need to be content.

When grown-ups openly accept their imperfections and blunders, kids will usually do likewise. If you mentor kids, let them hear you express humility when recognizing run of the mill mistakes. Examples of helpful humility statements follow:

1. I sometimes make choices I wish I could take back.

2. I occasionally judge another or myself in an uncalled for way.

3. Every now and then, I recall the misguidedness I’ve held onto.

4. Coming up short sometimes causes me to unfairly get down on myself.

5. I’ve found feeling embarrassed due to not being nice isn’t easy to confess.

We’re all flawed

weary warriors

battling our

mistake-prone

nature.

Trust

Because trusting niceness can be difficult when misfortune brings about desperation, reflecting on a self-care reminder like the one below can be helpful: Within me is a comforting guardian who wants me to rely on kindness and fairness, especially when I’m in the midst of troubles. When allowed to take charge, this part of me makes choices that best ensure my well-being.

A few simpler versions of the preceding reminder follow. Mulling them can help both kids and adults better trust kindness and fairness:

1. Don’t let not being treated well keep you from staying nice.

2. Remember, being ill-tempered keeps you from liking yourself.

3. Step up with niceness, not down with finding fault.

Here’s a quick

self-trust test:

Do I remain nice when

doing so isn’t returned?

Regret

Having regret isn’t merely wishing we could take back a mistake. It’s also a chance to explore how to better give and get ableness and closeness. We can’t always atone, but we can always commit to a greater show of kindness and fairness. tatements that express regret and open the door to healing are on the next two pages.

1. I regret that I didn’t own that I was unkind (or unfair).

2. Given how I mistreated you, I wouldn’t feel safe around me if I were you.

3. I mistakenly thought I could resist being unkind (or unfair).

4. I lost some self-respect when I was unkind (or unfair).

5. Knowing I can’t erase the harm I’ve done makes me more determined to be kinder and fairer.

6. I’m going to put my regret to good use by more often going out of my way to be a nice person.

7. I want to do more than say I’m sorry for the not-nice way I reacted.

8. I’m going to try hard to deserve mercy.

Let your regret

prompt you to show

greater niceness

and, by doing so,

prove you’re

worthy of mercy.

Rejection

Rejection can be tough to overcome. That’s because it typically brings about not only a hefty loss of feeling able and close but also a hefty loss of feeling worthy of these needs.

Though typically ending the misery stashed hurt brings about, break-ups can leave those rejected distraught. Moreover, the jilted can find spotting and overcoming a notion getting in the way of healing an uphill slog.

Sometimes finding their neediness preoccupying, those rejected can become consumed with a desire to quickly restore ableness and closeness. In turn, bouncing back sometimes turns into a desperate hunt—a rash inclination that can result in regrettable choices.

If you struggle with rejection, commit to mulling one or two of the self-talk notions that follow:

1. I need to do a better job ensuring my niceness truly matters to those with whom I seek ableness and closeness.

2. Not valuing give-and-get niceness has kept me bemoaning an unhealthy relationship.

3. I want to strive for the niceness I need rather than the illusion I mistakenly crave.

4. My hurt-fueled sadness and anger won’t subside until I lessen the inferiority that leaves me feeling unworthy.

Getting jilted can be a

haymaker to our gut when

we decide to weigh

our worth on a scale that

measures the degree to which

another finds us desirable

rather the degree to which

we find ourselves

kind and fair.

Not A Cure-All

The self-care described in this book isn’t a cure-all. Though committing to kindness and fairness is vital to good mental health, doing so isn’t always sufficient. Medication and counseling are sometimes also useful.

Develop a self-care plan of action. Be sure to include niceness notions that ring true.

Make a habit

of setting aside

time for relaxing

with eyes closed,

music mellow,

blankie snug

and self-talk

reassuring.

Notions To Explore

1. The survival strategies made available to us during childhood are a mixed bag.

2. Because of the usual ball-dropping on Earth, healthy mental self-care habits need ongoing bolstering.

3. Often caught off guard by stored hurt, everyone, on occasion, bobs on tippy toes for a self-care breath.

4. Without a planned approach to self-care that features niceness, our self-control can become fragile.

5. Though our hurt can’t be completely resolved, it can be lessened.

6. Useful self-exploration is typically self-demystifying.

7. When seen as the grand humanizer, humility lessens the blame losses bring about.

8. Much of what we consider to be necessary is unnecessary.

9. Our criticism of others is often misdirected displeasure with ourselves.

10. Persistence can be ill-advised, particularly when it calls for us to ignore alternative kind and fair ways to feel able or close.

11. Ableness, closeness, niceness, empathy, humility and mercy are key mental health terms.

12. Feeling payback is due won’t prevent the loss of self-respect usual when we stoop to returning fire.

13. When at the expense of another, our laughter leaves us thinking less of ourselves.

14. When accurately understood, most setbacks are hurt-curtailing timesavers.

15. Good mental self-care is an unending honing process.

Too often we let being

right run roughshod

over being nice.

Exploration Activities

If guiding others, promote their self-care by asking them to select a notion(s) from this book they see as useful. Then, have them explore the notion(s) chosen by way of an essay, poem, drawing, photograph, song or other creative means.

A second exploration activity entails having learners review the reminders on the next two pages, then discuss those they found to be unexpected or puzzling.

Reminders

1. Good self-care includes a willingness to unruffle feathers.

2. People take most of what’s said about them to heart.

3. Often, standing up to yourself should precede standing up for yourself.

4. Iffy advice arrives regularly.

5. Good mental health self-care can seem fishy at first.

6. Accepting our humanity can be both inspiring and scary.

7. Thank goodness we can’t be anything we want to be.

8. Too often, we rush to our reserved seat in the peanut gallery.

9. Hurt can’t be extinguished, but it can be defanged.

10. Seeking mercy rather than forgiveness is a realistic and promising approach to healing.

Pat yourself on the

back after humbly

owning you store more

hurt than you thought.

Guilt and Resentment

We learn to hold others and ourselves responsible for wrong-doing, leaving us quick to identify with either the guilty mistreater or the resentful mistreated.

Take time to mull the eight notions that follow. Keep in mind that getting the healing-ball rolling happens best when humility brings about a show of self-mercy.

That guilt and resentment

are readily passed on

is yet another good

reason to teach

humility

out of the childhood

self-care gate.

Healing and Mercy

Our lives are, in part, a series of losses. Burdened by shortcomings and misfortune, we find ourselves time and again needing to replace lost ableness and closeness.

Take time to mull the eight notions that follow. Keep in mind that getting the healing-ball rolling happens best when humility lays the ground work for self-mercy.

1. When our mental health is taken into account, niceness should be far more than a pleasantry.

2. When overly emphasized, striving to get ahead can cause us to minimize kindness and fairness.

3. The niceness on Earth can be somewhat spotty; so, express thank when you come upon someone kind or fair.

4. Pouncing on an opportunity to fit in can create cracks to fall through.

5. Often, both self-care kindness and fairness are brought about by displays of mercy.

6. The sticking-with-it niceness checkered flag is waved modestly, not boastfully.

Are you convinced

that feeling able

and close by way of being

nice is an exceptional

contributor not only to your

betterment but also

to your survival?

Aloneness and Self-Worth

Often, our readiness to listen to those commenting on our worth causes us to minimize that we alone have the say that matters most. When it comes to deciding the extent to which we see ourselves as up to snuff, we each have the last word.

The important question is this: How can we ensure our aloneness entails self-regard and serenity, rather than self-deprecation and strife?

As repeatedly suggested, seeing ourselves be kind and fair is an unequaled self-care mainstay. There isn’t a more reliable means of forging an aloneness that confirms the self-worth needed to sustain a healthy sense of well-being.

While love is commonly seen as the grandest source of feeling worthy, only love that features give-and-get kindness and fairness ensures the ongoing healing needed to maintain good mental health.

A court only we attend,

our aloneness is

the state in which

we’re both

defendant and judge.

Niceology

Niceness should be part of preschool through college curriculums. In conjunction, the study of kindness and fairness should have the same status as established school subjects.

Outpost Oops recommends a new subject, called niceology, be studied each school year. Niceology courses would feature role-playing exercises and discussion groups.

An example of a niceolgy role-playing exercise follows:

1. After putting learners in pairs, instruct them to take turns being for and then against the use of putdowns.

2. Once each pair debates for a few minutes, have them continue by using a few of the helpful-humility statements on pages 85 and 86.

3. Next, have learners discuss the role-play exercise. In particular, have them evaluate the helpful-humility statements they used.

4. Tell learners that expressing empathy and humility will get easier with practice.

5. Lastly, after having learners brainstorm other notions that prompt disagreement, have them role-play and refine empathic, humble responses to these notions.

Helpful-Humility Statements

1. Being too sure of myself sometimes makes it hard for me to appreciate the view of others.

2. Wanting to be right is keeping me from being civil and open.

3. I think how I put things is in the way of us getting along.

4. Wanting to appear smart is keeping me from considering your view.

5. I’m working on not getting pushy, stubborn or disrespectful.

6. I’d like to search for what we agree on.

7. Overlooking the good fortune I’ve had can cause me to think I know more than others.

Rather than stress

memorization

and grades,

niceology mentors

would ensure learners

practice giving and getting

humble, empathic,

supportive feedback.

Communication

An alternative style of communicating is needed. For example, rather than try to slough off a mistakes or regret, empathy and humility would bring about openness and ownership.

Examples of the above change follow. Keep in mind that though sometimes initially risky, such genuineness strengthens self-esteem.

1. I’m concerned I haven’t been considerate.

2. I wish I could take back what I did (or said).

3. I’m working at spotting times I mistakenly assume I’m kind and fair.

4. That I sometimes don’t resist the temptation to be flippant is embarrassing.

5. Not expecting others should brush off an insult has been hard for me.

6. I’m striving not to use bluster to try to hide looking ignorant.

7. Though I made things more difficult than they needed to be, you stayed pleasant. Thanks.

8. Privately feeling inferior can cause me to accuse others of being inept.

9. Please bear with me; I’m not sure how to be fair (or kind) right now.

10. It’s difficult to admit that I need to work at being kind and fair.

A niceness style

of communicating

that fosters healing

will be an essential part

of an advanced mental

self-care frontier.

Up For Grabs

What makes sense? Coming up with answers to this question is an ongoing inescapable challenge. Again, while struggling to survive the small and big storms living entails, we sometimes settle on faulty, but anchoring, answers that lessen how often we feel adrift. Though sometimes leaving us prone to losses, such answers enable us to readily do what it takes to feel able and close.

Keep in mind that

what makes sense

is sometimes a mere

stab at what is true.

Seeing what makes sense to be up for grabs can help us consider and possibly adopt healthier ways to conduct mental upkeep. But to take this approach, we must be willing to muster the humility that occurs when we routinely accept we may be mistaken.

When seriously pondered, the notions on the next five pages provide opportunities for you to challenge your view of what makes sense.

Feather-Ruffling List

1. A portion of the strife on Earth is baffling and overwhelming; another portion is predictable and preventable.

2. We don’t know ourselves as well as we think we do.

3. We’ve all been somewhat traumatized.

4. Everyone is sometimes in over her or his head.

5. Though never perfected, our mental self-care can be steadily improved.

6. Good self-awareness reveals the us who’s nice as well as the us who’s not nice.

7. Too often, desperation is overlooked and resilience is overrated.

8. Useful self-exploration is usually self-demystifying.

9. Human sitting ducks can frequently fly when given a niceness nudge.

10. Seeing ourselves be kind and fair is almost always there for the taking.

11. We’re all susceptible to choosing not-nice over nice.

12. Complimenting those with good intentions is a good way to practice prioritizing niceness.

13. Feeling grateful for the chance to be nice is a right-tract reaction.

14. Empathy and humility are all they’re cracked up to be.

15. Our criticism of others is often shifted displeasure with ourselves.

16. Kindness and fairness should be considered mental health cornerstones.

17. We can only pretend to be OK with not being nice.

18. A niceness grand awakening that brings about an overhaul of our educational priorities is badly needed.

19. We should remind ourselves over and over that regularly showing kindness and fairness makes us good enough.

We’re more likely

to throw in the

niceness towel when

we trick ourselves

into believing

we can give up

on being nice without

giving up on caring

well for ourselves.

100

Conclusion

The relentless misguidedness occurring on Earth is disheartening. With daily headlines indicating kindness and fairness are easily and routinely stampeded, it’s understandable that some will see a call for more niceness as naive.

Nevertheless, most misery doesn’t have to be a foregone conclusion. With a bold, steadfast commitment to kindness and fairness, a much healthier world is possible.

101

While misfortune and suffering vary greatly, everyone comes by unpleasant punishing memories. Though our gnawing flashbacks can’t be thrown overboard, their impact can be lessened. Relief occurs when we surrender to our inner guide—the nurturer calling for niceness.

Of course, a large-scale surrender will require a ground-swell of support for the study of niceology. It will call for us to commit to providing the guidance needed to upgrade our self-care notions.

102

Crafting and regularly pondering a self-care tenet, such as the one that follows, can be helpful:

Being nice, especially when coping with a not-nice world, is the best way for me to feel good about myself. I can’t completely overcome misguidedness, but I can sincerely embrace niceness and, by doing so, bring about a more merciful, peaceful mind.

Being nice is a wonder! When sufficiently valued, it’s an unequaled source of self-esteem and well-being.

103

Self-talk Goodness:

I choose

the peace-of-mind

provided when I use

kindness and fairness

to feel able and close.

104

Outpost Oops hopes you’ll join the Outpost Oops Planetary Society (OOPS). Members are trailblazers who realize a genuine commitment to kindness and fairness is long overdue.

To further explore ways to care for your mind, check out the nonfiction and fiction at Outpost Oops (outpostoops.com).

105

There’s a niceness awakening

underway at Outpost Oops

(outpostoops.com).

Micbren Publishing LLC